“Just the Facts Ma'am.”

My father said more times than not, I could have won an academy award for being the Queen of Drama! Sad but true. Thank goodness I have since learned a simple but hard lesson. You must separate your feelings and emotions from the facts, especially when you find yourself those hard circumstances of life. Now mind you, I still have my moments, but they are mostly during the time I am alone in prayer over this or that situation and then it may really be a tear jerking, snot flying session. But it is never in public and never aimed at someone. Which has not always been the case.

As a life coach, I am somewhat grateful for those years I spent being a “Drama Queen”, for I understand and have a positive word, to be beneficial to others in their life journey - maybe even giving them a detour to a better path. It also gives me stories to share that will lead to hysterical laughter and we know laugher does us good.

For years I have been counseling folks of all ages. There are two common factors that hinder clear thinking – feelings and emotions. Feelings are the affective state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments, or desires and can truly cloud ones thinking. Emotion is the mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes – a feeling - a mental agitation or disturbance.

Feelings and emotions many times give a false sense of ownership and security. Coupled together they can totally distort the facts surrounding a circumstance. Many times our actions and reactions are based on our feelings/ our emotions and not the facts. Respnding to the feelings and emotions can lead to a greater added problems in resolution. Burned bridges are almost impossble to repair.

Here is an example from my life as a young adult. After years of riding an emotional roller coaster – my parents and I were stale mated when any circumstance arouse – causing facts to be distorted, the emotions and feelings, from years of past scenarios on all three of our parts became “knee jerk” responses.

Late one winder night, my father began discussing with me the reasons I should not be reading a book my mother had found in my dresser drawer. I challenged him on it, knowing he was right,but I challanged him anyway, one word led to another word, and then the feelings and emotions on both parts took over. I found myself literally running out the kitchen door, to avoid a physical confrontation with him. He followed close behind, until we reached the driveway still covered with ice. There we were slipping and sliding across it. I am sure anyone passing by or looking out their window had quite a sight. As a gust of cold air hit our faces, the heightened emotions dissipated.

The facts were never the issue, the emotions and feels were only intensified and the outcome was a further breach in the fragile relationship. Years of this same “knee jerk” reaction continued – unresolved at my mother’s passing – unresolved at my father’s passing.

Professionally, personally and spiritually, I have found, when I separate my feelings and emotions and look strictly at the facts. Then and only then can true resolution be achieve. Many times, the resolution comes within me and I don’t make decisions based on what I feel, or what my emotions are saying.

Take it from this ole Southern Belle, Drama Queen – You are the one that can control your emotions and feelings. So in the words of Joe Friday: “Just the facts ma’am – Just the facts.” Then Victory is YOURS.

Website News: Just wanted to give you all a quick update. I have been working diligently to finish my assignments – my website mentor has me on task in completing the new pages. A few more tweaks and nips! I’ll keep you posted.

Also, I have been working on some fun little art pieces for special birthday gifts. If anyone has suggestions on how sketches made in CS4 can look better. My sketch outlines look more like grey pencil than black ink strokes. I also have been having some coloring issues.

Tomorrow I will be taking an update class on Adobe CS4 techniques which I am so excited about. They always inspire me.