Use To Could Of

1963 in the den of Pinewood Drive – Macon, Georgia the Beatles was crooning their British laced songs a young pre-teen aged girl dreamed of all the wonderful romantic dreams a young girl could possibly dreams. She sits today in the memories of “use to could of” - done – been - become . . . . 

Sparked by listening to 1967 Beatles song “Love Is All You Need” –  she thought about when the young embraced the lyrics to be possible but the use to could of end with the world as we once knew it was  going wild – spilling out of control. . . .

The death of President John F. Kennedy -  Viet Nam, even though started long before the 60’s it hit a devastating peak – use to could of our soldiers were honored heroes. . . returned home to handcuff not a ticker tape parade, and use to could of believed television was family entertainment of "I've Got A Secret" . . . . . changing the way the world saw “war”.  

Use to could of – we as American’s all had dreams but the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr in 1968 changed our dreams – as the exclamation point of 1970’s Kent State University tragedy when guardsmen fired 67 rounds in 13 seconds into reckless college students changed the dreams of how we use to could of lived into cries and mourning of the devastating death the United States life that we would never live again . . . we use to could of . . . . Gone forever.

The dinner table family laughter turned to watch our soldiers being blown to pieces, never flinching as we ate our meatloaf and peas. Today we stare into our electronic devices, any time day or night witnessing firsthand the display of hate as neighborhoods going wild and fellow Americans being beheaded, as we down our over sized fat coffee.

I thought about how we use to could have gone to school and listen to the laughter of children experiencing learning to read for the first time - new experiences – recess – to fear of whether or not today it would be another devastating community horror. 

The radio shared the interview of two young college students talking about working at a pizza establishment because of fear did not go to work and now no longer had a job because the anger of a community had gone to the street in violence because they did not like a decision and out of sheer hate destroyed and killed folks in a public restaurant they did not even know. Use to could have protested with poster boards and sit-ins. A young singe mother left nursing school to become a full time protester with violence because she now had a cause - a cause of hate - the only way she could get the community to listen.

This is the United States of America – the home of the free and the brave – This is The United States of America where now our babies – our communities –live in fear and hatred.  This is The United States of America where all men are created equal . . . . . use to could have . . . . respect for our fellow neighbor – where we stood together when 9/11 took innocent folks – fathers, mothers, sister, brothers – because someone on the outside hated us so much – where we stood together as the deadliest Hurricane Katrina and Rita tore through our lives leaving a trail of destruction – from around the world we ceased for a small moment from our hatred. Today with all our knowledge and all our technical savvy ways of "instant" have turned inward and allowed our differences, our hurts, our anger, our altered thinking of right and wrong have become haters of anyone who does not agree with us, look like us or think like us.  Use To Could Have???

What have we learned? What can we have dodo differently? Why is our own self-centered selfishness – or own inward judgments and opinions keeping us from doing what we could use to could have done a long time ago but we haven’t.

Was there a time when you use to could have given yourself freely to love those that despitefully used you?  Was there a time you could have accepted those that were different from you?  Was there a time you could have seen through the lens of peace? Why not now?

What will it take for use to break all the bonds that so bind us?

Use to could of - All We Need Is Love – Why not now?

VERY – No – No – No – Can A True Southern Belle Stop???

 In my roaming around researching I am always stumbling across different and unusual articles and reports.  Late yesterday I ran across and article talking about losing the word “very” out when writing.  

  

My belief is us southern belles from the Deep South, it is should also drop it from our conversations when we are describing how we want to put emphasis when describing something or someone.  More times than not we use the word “very” multiple times – very, very and even a third very.  The more drama the more “very”.

Writer’s Write byAmanda Patterson gave the following quotes in regard to using the word “very”

Mark Twain said: Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be”.

From Florence King: 'Very' is the most useless word in the English language and can always come out. More than useless, it is treacherous because it invariably weakens what it is intended to strengthen.”

And I love what N. H. Kleinbaaum said:  “So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.”

Amanda’s article “45 Ways To Avoid Using The Word Very” she lists all these wonderful words like terrified – furious. and spacious. 

Now those of us who love to express ourselves in the most southern dramatic drawl, I am sure even with using delicious words like terrified – One would say – “I am so very, very terrified! Or “Did you see that most very spacious kitchen in Betsy Sue’s new home.”

How interesting this little word “very” has such a bad rap.  According to Jeff Goins of “goinswriter” –says he places the word “very” along with many others as week and make your writing less effective.

I leave you with this thought. I am so very - very proud to be born and raised a true Southern Belle with all the very wonderful qualities that o with it.  The world could never have enough of us. . . . .We are very unique.

Oh, The Silage Of Our Mind

I ran across a very distinct definition of the word “Silage” – The scent that liners in the air – the trail left in water - the impression made in space after something or someone has been or gone - the trace of someone’s perfume.  Smiling I thought not just the scent of fodder from a barn.

Somewhere in the early morning I began to ponder the word – and immediately thought about that line from the old movie “The Parent Trap” where the young girl is sniffing her grandfather’s jacket.  He asked what exactly are you doing?  Her response – making memories . . . . . making memory silage. . .

What a perfect time of the year that our mind is full of memory silage from the past. It is the silage of Thanksgiving you can actually scent of sage and sweet concoctions – fills our memory of Thanksgiving with family.  The silage that seeps us from dreading these holiday times from not so wonderful that commercials convenience us that the holidays are something deemed to be perfect but deep in your heart the trail of disappointment and pain are still fresh. . There is silage that stays with us for years and years during the holidays.

Christmas has been stamped with the silage of pine needles – cinnamon – even the rustling of packages being opened but more times that we is the mingling of prevalent silage from not so happy events.  Those holiday movies – you know the ones – that takes holiday events on a roller coaster ride – with an always perfect ending.  But reality has taught us that many folks and many times the end result if far from perfect.

For me there are the cherished memories of going to South Georgia to be with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Even those have some silage that were not so pleasant – I still remember being at my aunt’s house on Christmas day and receiving a pair of red socks from her.  To this day I don’t like red socks and never would I give a child socks for Christmas. Laughing – although I do love wild and crazy socks. Christmas with my children and now my grandchildren.  The looks on their faces are always priceless.

There were Christmas silage that make me still weep, but I learned that instead of turning inward, I would turn outward.  Since my daughter was around three, I would take her to a Mississippi Event – The Mistletoe Market Place hosted by the Junior League of Jackson.  It was magical to see all the beautiful decorations and excited vendors displaying their beautiful items and now some thirty years later we still go to kick off our holiday – looking and planning and always having a “Beagle Bagel” chicken salad sandwich for lunch. 

There was the year I took her to another Jackson, Mississippi event – "The Belhaven Christmas Tree" – a live tree filled with wonderful singers singing out into the night all the wonderful Christmas Carols, but alas it was not a big hit, as the ground was cold and damp and even though we sat on a quilt and snuggled up close – for a child it was miserable – never again. Laughing.  Memory Silage.

The list whether an everyday event or a holiday event – The Memory Silage is there. That can be sparked by almost anything.

What is your Memory Silage?   

The Blue Crayon

Nestled deep within my wallet lives a blue crayon.  It has lived there for years.  I often wondered why I have never taken it out and tossed it over into the large crayon bin that sits in the living room.  Not even sure where it came from.

But it brings me reflection. Reflection on how we find a warm safe place to go when we want to hide away from the rest of the world.  It may not even be a place, it may be just closing our thoughts and opinions away from those around us. 

It is almost a good thing that we have not invented any type of device that can be attached to our forehead to pull out all the honest thoughts, feelings and options we have – especially in regards to folks around us – our circumstances and just how we see our life.

Last night as I visited with a friend, she shared how her daughter talks “deep” talk. I had to smile for she had just heard me ramble in my “deep talk” about various subjects.  Then I showed her The Blue Crayon.   And of course she asked me why I had a lone blue crayon.  My response what it was my inspiration of some profound “deep” reflection of life, but I had yet to find exactly what that was.

So in honor of that conversation and my lone blue crayon – I give you my thoughts on OPINIONS.

The late Steve Jobs said “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

This truly spurred me on, for we on the most part are a product or we think we are a product of the opinion of others.  Our parents, grandparents, our friends and of course the never ending television – and all the social media floating around us.

When one takes a stand that goes against the flow of others – more times than not we boo and hiss them down.  It all comes down to opinions.  So far today, I will take this stand and my opinion is – I applaud my lone blue crayon – It is an individual in its own right and it is safe and secure in the depth of my wallet.  I myself am safe and secure in my world of my opinions. . . . . .What’s in your wallet? What's Your opinion?

Baby It's Cold Outside

Winter has entered the state.  Over the past month we have been awaiting the change. When it knocked on the door it did it with lots of rain and wind.  Heaters and electric blankets turn on – soup is the food of choice.

The newness will wear off soon and the complaints will arrive shortly.  We are a never satisfied for long - we just want to welcome the change and then throw it aside until the next season arrives.  This is way many of us live our lives.

We anticipate something new, but then once we are comfortable we look for something new to spark our interest. 

Satisfaction is defined as a happy or pleased feeling because of something you did or something that happened to you. The act of satisfying a need or desire. Contentment is defined as the state of being happy and satisfied.  

How long are you satisfied for? Are you happy and content in what your life circumstance is today? If not what would it take to make you happy – satisfied and content?

I ran across his little “To Do List” we could all add to our daily tasks.

Count Your Blessings

Practice Kindness

Let Go of What You can’t control

Listen to Your Heart

Be productive yet calm

Just Breath

And on an ending note for today. “Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy. Focus on the things you have and the reasons you should be happy. Always appreciate what you have. For there is someone out there who wishes they had what you have. . . . . .

Does Love Compromise Absolute Truth

In the early hours just before even the chickens were up, I pondered the scenario of how our relationship with "good" people over rides absolute truth, giving way to compromise of what is right.

 I ran across this quote and thought it applicable for the day. "When the mind's eye rests on objects illuminated by truth and reality, it understands and comprehends them, and functions intelligently; but when it turns to the twilight world of change and decay, it can only form opinions, its vision is confused and its beliefs shifting, and it seems to lack intelligence.

"Have you compromised your beliefs because of the love and relationship with another?

Leaving Petty and Self Pity Behind

After listening to the mother o Peter Theo Curtis - it reminded me that we just waste a lot of valuable time being petty, hosting self pity parties over people not understanding, not being able to loose weight, etc. 

 When we need to be celebrating our life that we have another day to pour into the lives of others - holding stupid grudges because someone spoke truth and you did not like what they had to say. We to stop all of that - be thankful that we have today. 

I can not imagine loosing my child as the parents of the young man from Jackson Prep, or the mother who lost her son to people that hated Americans so much they beheaded him. I rejoice with this young man's mother who after two years did not know the fate of her child. 

And I am sure Peter Theo Curtis is not holding grudges against even those that kept him from being free - He is Thankful for his Today! 

Folks be thankful for your day. Hug your children, be nice to those around you, forgive those that have hurt and used you, and stop being petty and self pitying. We all have only 18 hours of today left. . . . . . . .Just saying.